


Where I Can Always Find You

by zelda_zee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zelda_zee/pseuds/zelda_zee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Dean can always find him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I Can Always Find You

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says, without turning around. He is sitting on the dock, feet dangling. His trench coat is not to be seen. He wears a white shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows.

Dean takes a seat beside him. For a few moments he does not look at Castiel, denying himself. Afraid that if he looks Castiel will not be there. Afraid that if he looks too closely Castiel will not be Castiel. Afraid that Castiel will be just as he always was and that it will hurt too much to bear.

The lake is quiet, as it always is. The sun is warm, as usual. There is nothing to disturb the tranquility. It should be boring. If it was real, maybe it would be.

“You’re always here,” Dean says. “So, what, do you just hang out, waiting for me to show up?” He looks at Castiel and it does hurt, a hot spear of pain in his chest.

“What do you want me to say?” Castiel asks. He squints a little against the sun, making faint crow's feet at the corners of his eyes. “That I wait for you to summon me?” An almost invisible smile tugs at his lip. “You know this isn’t real.”

“It’s real to me,” Dean says. He can feel the breeze ruffle his hair, smell dried weeds and lake water. He puts his hand on Castiel’s and he can feel the warmth of his skin, the solidity of bone and muscle.

“If it was real, you wouldn’t do that,” Castiel says, staring down at their hands.

“Maybe I would,” Dean says defiantly. He’s thought about it, what he would do if Castiel was somehow returned to him. “Maybe I’d do a lot of things. You should come back and find out.”

“Dean,” Castiel says regretfully. “You know that I would return if I could." He looks at Dean, and all the pain that Dean is feeling is reflected in Castiel's face. "You can always find me here.”

Dean blinks back the sudden sting, swallows it down. “It’s not enough.” 

“It has to be.”

They sit in silence for a long time, watching the wind make ripples on the surface of the lake. There’s a little bird near the shore, stepping delicately through the shallows on long, spindly legs, searching for frogs.

“I still have your coat.” Dean’s hand rests on Castiel’s; neither of them have moved.

“It’s okay,” Castiel says. “You can keep it.”

Dean wakes to gray light sneaking through a gap in the threadbare curtains. He can hear cars on the highway just across the motel parking lot. He closes his eyes against the day for just another minute.


End file.
